Two Ears, One Mouth: Why Listening Matters More Than Talking in Consulting and Tech Leadership

We’ve all heard the old saying: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” The line is often attributed to the Stoic philosopher Zeno of Citium, and later echoed by Epictetus. It’s one of those timeless pieces of wisdom that’s so obvious, yet so often ignored.

I’ve been reflecting on how this applies to consulting—and frankly, to leadership in technology as well.

The Consulting Trap: Talking Before Listening

Far too many consultants get this backward. They walk into a client engagement with a formula, a rinse-and-repeat playbook they’re eager to deploy. Within hours, they’re talking more than they’re listening, convinced that their “tried and true” method is the answer before they’ve even heard the question.

The result? Shallow assessments, missed context, and recommendations that may sound polished but fail to resonate with the unique reality of the client’s business.

The Leadership Parallel in Tech

The same dynamic plays out in technology leadership. Leaders, often under pressure to deliver quick wins, substitute listening with pronouncements. They assume they already know the challenges their teams or customers face, when in reality they’ve skipped the step of truly understanding.

In a field as dynamic and complex as technology, this tendency can be particularly damaging. Innovation and collaboration thrive on curiosity, empathy, and context—not on leaders who already think they have all the answers.

The Power of Listening First

When consultants or leaders actually listen—twice as much as they speak—the outcome is different:

• Context is understood.

• Relationships are strengthened.

• Solutions are tailored rather than templated.

• And most importantly, people feel heard.

That last point may be the most crucial. Whether you’re advising a company or leading a team, people will rarely buy into your recommendations if they don’t believe you’ve truly listened.

A Stoic Reminder

So perhaps Zeno (or Epictetus) was onto something more profound than good conversational advice. “Two ears and one mouth” is an operating principle. For consultants. For leaders. For anyone who wants to influence and build trust.

Because in the end, listening isn’t just polite—it’s strategic.